My children are unapologetically, authentic, untainted, innocent little boys.
I find myself being the buffer for my kids lately, taking on the judgement and little comments here and there of how energetic, rough, fearless, loud, fast, and chubby they are (or were).
I could intervene in my children’s lives and mold them into the people this world expects them to be, sit quietly, don’t make a mess, don’t get dirty, don’t jump off the balcony, don’t play with your willy, don’t ride a motorbike, don’t cry, don’t play with nerf guns (it could mean you’ll grow to be a terrorist). Basically, a world of do’s and don’ts instead of a world celebrating everyone as an individual.
There’s a fine line between creating boundaries to protect our children and holding them back from the little personalities they are born to be.
Admittedly I’ve had so many vulnerable moments allowing the outside noises in where I question my own children and if there’s something behaviorally wrong with them or start comparing them to others. I get told so many times how people don’t know how I do it, or that I deserve a medal.
The moment my little boys’ feet hit the floor of a morning; they are ready to just live their day at full speed. They are in the sandpit by 7:30am, yahooing and wrestling on the trampoline while the neighborhood is still waking up. They literally have a zest for life, and I love it!
I introduced my boys to dolls and prams when they were babies, they would throw the doll on the ground and put their cars in the pram to push instead. Their biology is shaped by wheels, dirt and noise. I’ve surrendered to the personalities they have, although challenging and hard to keep up with, I wouldn’t dare change them for the world.
Being a mum without a mother myself to be able to call upon for reassurance or little reflections of me as a child, combined with living away from our family and support, strips me of my confidence to go against the grain of advice and remarks from others regarding the kind of kids I’m raising.
So, although others can publicly share my words, I wrote this for my own self, as a promise to protect my children from the world saying what they should or shouldn’t be and continue to celebrate their individual characteristics and have the confidence to be a triangle in a room full of squares.